A Simple Prayer???

If you're like me, you have heard that phrase millions of times.......you've probably said it at least half that many. You know the blessing:

God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food.

Have you really given much thought to it or just said it?? I must admit....I'm guilty of both, but recently, that particular prayer really made me think. (I think I was in the shower at the time. God does alot of His talking to me in the shower-----that too leaves me to think deeply, why the shower??) Most little children are taught it. They NEVER forget it. Such a simple prayer........or is it??

GOD IS GREAT!!!
This really doesn't need any more explanation. As you read that how many breaths did God allow you to take? You are able to see, think, smell, feel, & love. Where do you think that came from? The sun, the rain, all the stars (more than the eye can see), the wind, trees, flowers, dirt, food.......ever given much thought to it all? God IS great!!!

"Creator of heaven and earth." Genesis 14:19

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:4

GOD IS GOOD!!!
He is sooooo good. He has forgiven me. My sins, oh my many, horrible, terrible sins have been forgiven. ME!!!

"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood." Romans 3:22-25 (this is for everyone who believes)

He knows ME!! He knows my thoughts, my motives, my heart, my feelings, my fears, my worries. He knows what I'm going to do before I've even thought it. He's NEVER surprised! He hears my prayers without a word being spoken. God IS good! He IS alive in me!!

I pray He is also alive in you. I pray that you REALLY feel Him. Remember, He knows YOU!! He loves YOU!!

God is great! God is good! Thank you LORD for everything!!!!

The Power of Prayer

This blog started a week ago. Either I was busy and didn't have the time I needed to devote to it, or God needed me to wait to do it properly, I don't know, but it's now time! I'm praying that it is taken in the context it is "whole heartedly, graciously, lovingly" intended. (I love you Kari!!!)

Most of you know I've been dealing with some medical issues. On Friday the 13th, I had gone back to the doctor to get results of the tests I had had done and to hopefully finally have "the answers"......the answer--more tests. Anyway, my friends and family (church family included of course!) were praying faithfully for me and my situation and were anxiously waiting to hear "the answers". I texted, twittered, and called everyone when Mark & I left the doctor's office. I never, NEVER worry about people not praying. I'm am BLESSED to be surrounded by prayer warriors! Knowing that sure does make the peace I feel more "peaceful" if that makes sense to you.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7


Last Monday morning (2/16) I was literally brought to my knees (and face)! I was checking my emails, which I pledged to do regularly this year (still working on that).....any way, there was one particular email that "drew me" to it before any of the others. It was an email from a special lady who is dealing with her own medical issues. Here's what I found----as you read this, you are getting them latest response first:

3.to me:
"The reply was touching thought u needed to know" Kari

2.to Kari:
from judy @ wibi.org
Re: WIBI Prayer Request Form

Dear Kari, We are joining with you and all those who love Toni trusting God to walk with her step by step. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us.

Psalm 62:5-7 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. 6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 7My salvation and my honor depend on God' he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Blessings, Judy....Prayer Team

1.to prayer @wibi.org
from Kari

Request A very DEAR friend has learned of cystis on her ovary etc and needs prayers! She is such a devoted woman to CHRIST to others to her husband and children! She never gets just one minute for herself. SHE TRUELY IS A AMAZING WOMAN!!! I just hope she gets thru this ok and receives the kindness she shares with all of man kind everyday......(Toni Stewart is her name) Thank you so much!!!!


Are you crying now too????? Understand why I was brought to my knees? I was so humbled!! For Kari to do this selfless act, words cannot begin to express what my heart is/was feeling! THANK YOU GOD!! Here was my response to her through my tears:

oh my beautiful..........THANK YOU!!! You NEVER cease to amaze me?? I KNOW I'll be ok......God is GREAT!! He has me in His loving arms & takes care of me EVERYDAY!! He gives me my next breath. He's MY everything!! Thank you for asking others for prayers. He hears them all!!! I love you!! Know what else, God loves you too!!!

This gesture----this wonderful caring, loving gesture was made by one of God's beautiful children that I have been trying to share with & convince that He DOES love her. He DOES know her thoughts & prayers. He IS always with her. I KNOW God is tugging on her heart! I KNOW God trying to reach her! I am now praying SHE knows it and allows Him in. The AMAZING love and peace she would feel........AMAZING!!!

Then, as if there could be more, on Tuesday 2/17, she gave me the most beautiful cross necklace for Valentine's Day. More tears!!!! Now everyday when I put my cross around my neck, I let her know she also is around my neck with her love!!!

Now I'm asking you all to pray for Kari.....pray she continues to feel......to love......to grow!!

Kari, "night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers." 2 Timothy 1:3

Thank you Kari........I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

God's Gift Today

Ever have a day that you KNOW down in your core that it's a gift from God? Today was one of those days for me! I have been blessed with MANY God-loving, God-serving, God-filled people. Among those people are children. God's beautiful children!!! I am blessed and humbled to have a "special" relationship with these children. For some reason, (it HAS to be God) they like me!!

Wednesday night while we were cleaning up the kitchen at church after our meal, Isaac Daugherty asked me when I was coming over to play Wii with them. You see, I had promised (1st mistake) that I would come play "some day"-----but "some day" never comes, right??? WRONG!! When you tell kids your going to do something, their memory is better than an elephant's. There I was.....put on the spot & in church at that! What to do....what to do.....

Beautiful Isaac earlier in the day had winked at me as he cut through the kitchen (melt my heart) and then later, he told me he would be my Valentine for 1 second--if I wanted him to be..........that's it........he stole my heart!!! Now, you see my dilemma? Play Wii with them.......don't they know I'm TERRIFIED of video games????? I have NO hand-eye coordination. They talked and talked about boxing.....beating each other up. Bowling, tennis, golf...........are you kidding me???? My language required serious SERIOUS repenting when I golf...........what to do???? Quick......they are staring me down.......ANSWER please!!!!

Oh alright.......I told them since they didn't have school Monday (today) that if it was ok with their Mom & I didn't have to take care of my grandpa, I would come over and play Wii with them, but they would have to remind me. (Mistake #2) Remember the elephant thing.....they didn't forget!!!!

This morning I was busy doing my errands, when a text message came to me asking when I was coming over today to play Wii. Before I could send a message back, my phone was ringing. No escaping them.............they were holding me to my word. God's children!!! Now here I was again put on the spot..........I could have said "NO, I'm busy", but I knew this was a true gift from God that I couldn't let pass me by. "Yes, if it's ok with Mommy, I'll be over there about 2. Call me when it's ok." There, I did it!! (Mistake #3?????)


See this picture of the baby playing Wii........the baby could beat me!! It's ok though.......the excitement in Taylor, Isaac, & Luke's eyes & heart when I walked through the door was my gift!!! THANK YOU GOD!! They promised me they wouldn't beat me up......I practiced (if you call it that.....remember, I DON'T do video games.....just ask my kids-----can't wait til they hear what I did). I did the Wii Fit Challenge......ha ha ha!! I'm a vibrant 74 year old......look out Social Security & Senior Citizen Discount!! OH YEAH!!! After I recovered from my humilation, I played 2 games with each of them. When it was time for me to leave, they wanted to know when I was coming back!! THANK YOU GOD for putting me on the spot!! Thank you Daugherty kids!! I love you!!!


Please-----please don't pass up God's gifts!! I'm sure glad I didn't!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

In case you've been living in a cave somewhere, today is Valentine's Day! It means different things to each one of us. As I was searching for images for this blog, I ran across MANY different pictures when I typed in "valentines". I must tell you, my eyes were opened wide to the MANY different feelings people have for today! WOW!! Some were quite disturbing, but the majority just made me feel LOVE!!!! I smiled and laughed as I searched for my "perfect" pictures. This one is my "sweet treat" to you. This is the no-calorie kind!! (would be MUCH better if it was a real cookie, huh???)


I LOVE YOU! That phrase is not one I take lightly. I use it all the time, but I mean it when I say it. As I sit here typing this, I had planned on getting my Bible studies homework done this morning, God led me to post this blog. (He's VERY persistent!!) Valentine's Day is about "love". Who knows more about "love" than Our Heavenly Father? HE IS LOVE!!!

He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him. John 14:21

I heard the phrase "I love you" when I was growing up. My mom would tell me all the time how much she loved me, how special I was to her.....her gift from God. (Someday when God gives me enough strength to type what's in my head and heart, I'll go into detail how much that truly meant to me----will probably be a mini-series blog!!!) My Grandpa Al & Grandma Lois, Great-Grandma Yahr, & Uncle (now Grpa) Myron, and Aunt Sheron ALWAYS told me how much they loved me.....ALWAYS!!! I KNEW they loved me!! I KNEW it!!!

The person I never heard "I love you" from until I was almost married, was my dad. I longed to hear it. I ached to hear it. Why didn't he tell me he loved me? What was wrong with me? As I sit here now thinking about that, tears are rolling down my face. I'm 46+ years old. My dad's been dead for 17 years. Why the raw emotion as I type this??? Where is this going??? I have NO idea. God is leading me and I'm obeying. I'm typing. ....it's all you God!!! What took so long for him to say three simple words, "I love you."? Maybe that's just it.......they aren't three simple words!!!! I thought I knew he loved me. I prayed he loved me. I told myself over and over as I grieved to hear the words "I love you" that he loved me. My dad wasn't a "touchy-huggy-kissy-feely" - let your emotions show kind of person. Maybe he didn't know how to say "I love you"--you were just supposed to know it. When he did finally tell me, the world looked different. I was different. Why are those three little words so important to a child? to anyone?

Something about a Father's love. That's what we have in Jesus!

He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him. John 14:21

I KNEW He loved me!! No matter what kind of mess I made of my life-and I made some BIG messes-, HE LOVED ME!!!

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over all multitudes of sins. 1 Peter 4:8


Over and over and over in the Bible we are told how much He loves us. How much we are to love one another.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:38-39

Over and over........ God is love!!

When Mark, my best friend, the love of my life, my soul mate, entered my life, "I love you" was not foreign to me/us. I ALWAYS heard it, I felt it, I KNEW it!! When God blessed us with Jeramie and Amanda, they too ALWAYS heard "I love you"! I always knew if God blessed me with a loving husband and children, they would NEVER doubt my love for them!! I would tell them daily!! We NEVER end a phone conversation or leave each other without saying "I love you"!!

And these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13


Is there someone you need to tell "I love you"? What are you waiting for?? It's NEVER too late!!! Why not do it today.....the day of LOVE. I probably drive my friends and family nuts telling them I love them, but I don't care!! I love them and never want them to doubt that!!



Today is Valentine's Day........flowers, cards, candy, stuffed animals are nice.....but, will you remember them next week, next year........three simple words.......I LOVE YOU is FOREVER!!!





Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Father, when I started this blog this morning, I thought it was going to be light, happy, joyful, loving........wow, look where you lead me. Thank you for your guidance, patience, strength, and love!! You are AWESOME!!!

Don't forget it.....don't doubt it!!

When Did We Lose Control???

When did we lose control? While getting my morning chores done before heading to church to help cook our Wednesday night meal, I was listening to our local news on the radio. The sports updates were on (mainly high schools sports around the area). That's when it happened! Not the first time this school year, but the overwhelming "disgust", maybe it was more "severe sadness" enveloped me! I was almost paralyzed!! The announcer was discussing the regional basketball tournaments taking place Wednesday evening. I repeat, WEDNESDAY EVENING!!!!!! Is anybody else seeing the wrong in this? Is anybody feeling what I'm feeling, or have we just grown numb? When did we succumb to the way of the world??

I have seen MANY games being played throughout this school year on Wednesday nights!! Worse than that (in my eyes), there are sports activities taking place on Sunday mornings. My heart breaks when I think about this. Why are we as Christ-followers allowing this to happen?? What are we telling our children when we allow the "authorities" to dictate over our beliefs that Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings are God's!!!!????

When my kids were in school and active in sports, Wednesday nights were practice nights, yes!! But, if their church activities conflicted with practice, they were "allowed" to attend church without the possibility of repercussion for missing practice. GOD FIRST!!! There was never a game on a Wednesday night! The school "reserved" Wednesdays for church! When did we lose control?? Better question, why have we given up our control??

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel with being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. Philippians 1:27-28.


Being a Christ-follower is rough! The fear of our children being punished (running laps, staying late, etc), benched during the next game, or even teased can be scary. But didn't Christ endure far more than that for our freedom?! I pray that if I still had kids in school, I would stand-up for my beliefs!!


Next comes the discussion of working on Sunday. I'm just as guilty as everyone else. I think nothing of running to WalMart to get whatever on Sunday, to fill up my gas tank, to eat out after church. Where did we lose control? When did we allow the ways of the world to take over?

What would happen if we just said "NO!! Enough is enough!!"??? LORD, here my cries!!!


Just remember as you maybe fuming at my thoughts- they are MY thoughts!! LORD, please forgive me!! I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!!

PEACE!!

I usually don't have a blog topic so quickly.....but, today I was flooded with emotion!! I didn't even need my "voice" to speak!! It was all around me. It's ALWAYS all around me! PEACE!!!

Today is really no different than any other day, except I'm having to put myself & my health first before everyone & everything! That's a struggle for me.....getting better though and that's what brings me to this blog today.

Got up, coffee, breakfast (something new since my 1st place 4 health class), laundry, morning housework, etc. I checked my email (about as far as that goes, if I'm lucky....a New's Year Resolution I've still not concurred) & chatted with my twitter tweets!! I stopped by Dianne & Miranda's for our morning "session" (not as faithful with that this year unfortunately), & then on my way to church to take care of business, a dear, special friend texted me to see how I was feeling today & offering her help with errands, food, whatever! She herself is dealing with medical issues & she wanted to help me.

That's when I was overcome with "my life". The today, here & now!! "WOW!! How blessed I truly am!!!"

I just wanted to shout at the top of my lungs............."if they could see me now!" If someone would have told me as recent as 2 years ago I'd be here today, I probably would have been taking them to the doctor!! Me, Toni, walking into my church and LOVING it!!!! It's like taking my next breath. I look forward to ANYTHING involving church. I'm teaching Sunday school to 4-5 year olds---me, a Sunday school teacher!! I'm taking & LOVING Bible studies! I'm actively involved in many ministries. Mark & I are Home Team Pastors, are you kidding me?? God is FULL of love, patience, mercy & grace! My friends.......wow, my friends......they love me for ME!!! REALLY love ME for me!! Not one day goes by that I'm not in communication for MANY of them.........all I can say again is WOW!!!!!

God loves ME for ME!!! He KNOWS everything too.............EVERYTHING!!! He's forgiven me. He encourages me. He strengthens me. He KNOWS me! He gives me mercy & grace every day!!

On my way home for my ultrasound today, my mind was still counting my blessings when this came on the radio (now not exactly per word, but you'll get the idea):

Thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me. No matter what tomorrow brings, thank you God for everything. Thank you for the sun & rain. Thank you! Thank you for what you give and take away. Thank you!!!

That's it!!! I'm sooooooo thankful!! I'm thankful for my peace!!

I'm hoping you CAN see me NOW!!!

I love you all!!

Kicking & Screaming!!!

Do you ever feel like if you just had a doctor's kit, you could "fix it"??

You ask yourself over & over & over, why waste the doctor's time & our money when it's really nothing!? It will pass.....It's NOTHING!!!

As I struggle with this blog, my "voice" is saying........"go ahead, lay it ALL out there!" My head is saying........"You've GOT to be kidding me? I can't get it straight in my head & I'm living it. How is the world am I going to put in from my heart & head to my fingers????" To be quite honest with you, I worry about my "voice" sometimes.....I think it could quite possibly be confusing me with someone else..........FAT CHANCE!!!!!


Here's what my head & my heart are struggling with......... so MANY signs! I started to type "but,".......there really is no BUT.......there are so many signs....if my family or friend, or a stranger for that matter, had as many signs (or symptoms) I would have been dragging them to the doctor way before now!! Why is it I feel I'm not worthy????


Am I not God's child? Didn't He choose me? Doesn't He love me? Is He not using me as an example of what His mercy grace does to a sinner!!!!???? Isn't my body the temple for the Holy Spirit?? (Romans 12:1) If the answers are YES........what am I doing ignoring the signs?????!!!!!!


I finally broke down/gave in/caved........NO!.....I finally prayed and OBEYED!!! My "voice" just kept saying, "How many more signs do you need? The signs you are receiving aren't in a "foreign language". You only have ONE life." There was no peace........the "voice" wouldn't stop......it continued on & on & on & on..........you get the point? Not only did the "voice" continue, so did the signs.

My signs (symptoms), the "voice", my loving husband, my "nagging" friends, OK I get it already! I'm NOT a doctor. It's time to lay down my pride. Throw my fears to God. Lean on Him!.....I finally went to the doctor this past Thursday. I am now having tests ran to see what is going on.....I will continue to keep you updated! Prayers are definitely appreciated!! Thanks to my "nagging" friends & my loving husband...........and thank you to my "voice", my guiding force! I DO HEAR YOU!!!

My New Year's Resolution: take care of me.............it's hard, but I'm doing it.....kicking & screaming the whole way!!!!!

Friend--The Past or The Present?

This blog subject has been with me for a few days. I know I need to do it. My "voice" doesn't/hasn't changed. So, here I go......

The lingering question that keeps repeating itself in my head is, "What kind of friend are you?" Wow!! The first time it came to me, I blurted quickly without any time to think about it....."A good one!! One I'd want." Now, with not doing this blog as soon as it came to me, (lesson learned--do the blog when it comes to me....I will have peace) I've had this question posed to me again and again with each struggle, trial, and hardship my friends have endured the last couple weeks. Again, "What kind of friend are you really Toni?" I feel true conviction when my "voice" ask questions that get "personal"....it calls for true soul-searching.

1. "You adulterous people (you've cheated on God), don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God?" Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." James 4:4

2. "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command." John 15:12-14
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This my command: Love each other." John 15:16-17

What kind of friend am I?


Looking back, I have to admit, I was mainly #1. I was a "good" friend when it was convenient for me. Or I was a "user" friend....what's in it for me?? I was a "fair-weather" friend....times got tough....I got going (and fast)! Sometimes, my friends just didn't live up to MY expectations. (unfair, unreasonable, or even unvoiced expectations)

Now, today, I thank Jesus for showing me what a true, faithful, unwavering friend is. He knows me intimately, and He still loves me and calls me friend!!!! AMAZING GRACE!!! I tell my friends I'm there for them. Am I really? Am I a "true-blue" friend? Am I a friend I'd want to have? I encourage them. I support them. I pray for them. I thank God for them. I love them as God loves me. (even when they try to kill me with exercise class or continually "bug" me about calling the doctor...........Just so you all know....I DID IT!!!-----possibly my next blog subject????????)

I love you my friends..............thank you for your faithfulness, support, prayers, patience, and love---unconditional love!!! Please remember, I AM still "under construction".

Pure As Fresh Fallen Snow

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Pure as the fresh fallen snow. "? Snow---pure?? Have you been outside the last couple days? Have you had to shovel it, drive in it, or been stuck in it or stuck inside because of it? Again I ask you, snow-pure???

Now comes the tracking with me, my mind, & its thought pattern....(remember me warning you about that in my very first blog?)

Yesterday God was speaking to me about this particular subject. He sent me on "reminiscing trip". He wanted me to remember how I truly LOVED His gift of snow. Showing me this was an eye-opener. I don't like cold weather. I didn't like cold weather back when I loved His gift of snow either. He helped me see that what I loved was the true, pure beauty fresh fallen snow provided. "Pure as the fresh fallen snow."

New Webster's Dictionary's definition for pure:
free from all unnecessary matter, esp. from anything that pollutes; free from anything that contaminates; innocent; spotless; chaste; stainless; genuine; unpolluted; mere; sheer; absolute.



While outside with the dogs yesterday morning, I saw and heard God's work. The birds seemed more loud and happy. I hadn't noticed it the day before. They were singing beautiful songs. They were busy feeding around my feeder. They were in all the trees around singing. Most of my neighbors yards still had undisturbed snow (you don't have that with 3 dogs, if you know what I mean).....pure beauty. I knew God had given me His eyes and His ears to experience this pureness. I cherished the moment and didn't want it to end.




Next came thoughts--maybe it was conviction--how pure is my heart? How pure are my motives? How pure are my actions?

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." Matthew 5:8

"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." 1Timothy 1:5

"Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure." 1Timothy 5:22

"To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure." Titus 1:15
"Who can say, 'I have kept my heart pure, I am clean and without sin'?" Proverbs 20:9

LORD please forgive me, I'm still "under construction". Thank you for allowing me to have your eyes and ears and see your majesty! How GREAT is our God!!!!

God wants to know today if I believe in Him?

Am I "IN" the game or just sitting comfortably in the stands??

Are you "IN" the game our just sitting on the sidelines????

Have you ever found yourself IN "the game" and thought, "Wait one minute! I didn't sign up for this!" Yeah, me too-----more than once! But, is that really the truth or did it just start getting too tough???

Through my walk, I have learned (sometimes the hard way) there is a reason why I'm where I am. I may not know it today or even next year, but GOD KNOWS!! He ALWAYS has a plan, and He DOESN'T make mistakes!

God gives me the size of faith I need to complete the task (the game).

I can't sit on the sidelines. I need to use actions, not words! I need to show the grace God has given me and is continuing to give me. I need to share my story. I need to take personal responsibility for my wrong attitudes, disobedience, stubbornness, pride, behaviors unbecoming.....God sees these as hatred towards Him----as His enemy!! WOW!!! Am I really "IN" the game?? What is God's evaluation of me??

Today I'm praying for humbleness!! Put me in coach......I'm ready to play!!!

What do you see??

When YOU look in the mirror, what do YOU see?









"So God created man in is own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

That means ME & that means YOU!!



Do you see what God sees????


For years & years & years I struggled with MY image. I didn't even like myself, let alone love myself. After dealing with severe depression, having to be hospitalized, & finding myself in in-patient & out-patient group therapy, I learned I HAD to everyday look in the mirror & tell myself "I love YOU!" even if I didn't mean it. And, I have to tell you, for quite a longggg time, I didn't. What a mountain that was to climb!!

When I look in the mirror, do I like what I see now? On the inside, Yes, most of the time,.......remember, I am still "under construction". On the outside, well, again,.....remember the "1st place for health" program, I'm still "under construction". AND, remember that group of "friends" I talked about that hassle me about doing that P90X workout......they are still trying to kill me..............You gotta love them! They are consistent, they are faithful, they are patient---and, they love ME!!



Know what else, I LOVE ME!!!! Lord, give me your eyes to see what you see........

My Signs

These are the signs I should to be wearing daily!!!!

I'm proud to say, I am ALWAYS "under construction"! I'm praying I will be "under construction" until the day I die. And, I ALWAYS want "men at work" in and through me! On my good days, I just need minor work. But, there are days, even weeks, when I am a major construction zone!! (may a disaster zone would be more like it)

One of my construction zones involves expectations. Expectations involving me and others. I get all caught up in the "flesh of life" and mess up! As I get all caught up in the "let downs", I lose sight. My focus gets blurry. My attitude is wrong! Sometimes, my mouth even says things that after it's out I think, "where did THAT come from?" or "did I REALLY say that?" Thankfully, as I enter my "construction zone", right there in clear view is the "men at work" sign.

"My earnest expectation and hope (is) that....Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death." Phillippians 1:20
"Because Your loving-kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise you." Psalm 63:3
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" James 4:8

I want you all to witness how God IS working in me. My problem, I'm a long-term, "UNDER CONSTRUCTION" project!!!

"Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ." 1Corinthians 11:1


Thank you for your understanding, love, and patience!!

Today---You Are Here!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA !!!

You have to be living a cave to not know what today is. History in the making! We have a new President of the United States of America, an African-American President of the United States. Honestly, did you ever in your wildest dreams think you would see it in your lifetime?? Just what does this mean to you & me? Do we really have ANY control over the "doings" of our great nation? How about responsibility? I am only one person in Carlinville, Illinois.

As I was thinking about all this, my thoughts were directed in a totally different direction. Imagine that!! Have you ever asked yourself........What in the world am I doing here????
I have found myself saying that particular phrase ALOT this past week.

Like right now....what in the WORLD am I doing here blogging??? Are you kidding me!! I'm completely computer stupid!! This machine scares me to death!! But, I've gotten this far (thanks to my wonderful, loving, SMART husband)... I have started a blog (glob). What could I possibly have to say that ANYone would be interested in reading???? God knows.

Last night I found myself saying for the 2nd time in a week...."What am I doing here?" You see, I'm hanging around with some friends(?) who I think are secretly trying to kill me! I am voluntarily doing an exercise....that's right, that's what I said...exercise class with them. It's called P90X workout.....should be called....watch the "old lady die a slow, miserable death!" Again, God knows, and I must say, He has quite a sense of humor!!!

Again I ask you, "What am I doing here?" No matter what you are "doing here", you are making history!! Are you living a life of significance?

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

LORD, what am I doing here? What is your evaluation of me??

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:10

New Year---Now What???

It's a new year! We've taken down the old calendar & replaced it with the new one. We've celebrated the coming of 2009!....now what??? All the decorations are down, the get-togethers & parties are over, church, work & school are back to "normal", AND we're supposed to DO something right?

I don't know about you, but 2008 was quite a year for me! It started off wonderful. We had started a"Biggest Loser" contest at church. I was doing great. I was committed (maybe I should have been "committed", but that's another blog altogether), dedicated, making great strides. I was feeling good about myself......seeing results!! woo hoo, God is good!

Then came April and my Grandma Lois got sick. She was hospitalized for 3 weeks. I stayed day & night when necessary. My other commitments went by the way-side. (starting to track with me) My days with her on this earth were limited, I knew that. Being with her was where I NEEDED & wanted to be. On April 29th, my Grandma finally got to "go home" (that was her favorite thing to say for the last couple years, "I want to go home"...not that she or we knew what "home" she was talking about). I was BLESSED to have been with her, pleading with her to GO!!, as she took her last breath. God is good!!

After you "shelf" your life for a month, it takes ATLEAST that long to catch-up & get "back in the swing". We fast forward to mid-September. My mom hadn't been feeling quite right. Dr. was treating her for the flu. Then the dreaded phone call. Mom's NOT good. Her blood pressure's 45/17, she's "not totally with us", etc., etc., etc. She was air-lifted to Springfield, the medical personnel not expecting her to make the flight. What was wrong with her? She was in cardiac critical care. She would have "spells" where she would crash...twice her blood pressure was 40/20, and once they had to totally paralyze her just to stabilize her. She spent almost 6 weeks in the hospital....again, being with her was where I NEEDED & wanted to be. God is good!! Commitments again put "on hold".......seeing a pattern here? After she was home, she still needed to be taken to the hospital (this time here in town...God is good!)everyday for a month for antibiotic infusions. Again, trying to play catch-up, but this time, I'm not at the "seeing results" stage......I'm back to before I flipped the calendar.

Ok, I'm into November puttering along with usual activities, commitments, daily living. A few times through out Mom's illness & treatments, I would have to make emergency room visits because Grandpa Myron wasn't "right". Diagnosis, guessed they were mini-strokes. He would never have to spend the night at the hospital & would be back to "normal" sometimes before he returned to nursing home or no more than a week later....God is good!

Ok, now I've started December....Grandpa had a bigger stroke December 1st. The effects were visible. But, with time & therapy he was back to almost "normal". I thanked God again for the MANY blessings & miracles He had allowed me to witness throughout the year. Selfishly I asked Him for a break. I needed time for a total "rejuvenation". My whole being was exhausted. (remember the whole "being committed" comment earlier....I was there)

Then, the morning of December 14th came yet another storm. This time, it involved Mark's side of our family. His dad, and I'm proud to say, my dad too for 27+ years, "went home". I don't think I responded the way people thought I should have. Was I feeling the great loss? Absolutely! Did I wish this wasn't God's plan at this particular time? Yes, YES! But, the overwhelming feeling I was experiencing was complete PEACE! God is good!

Throughout 2008 I witnessed MANY miracles. I also witnessed much suffering to people I loved. Through it all, I thank God!! He is great!! I thank Him for all the storms. He has blesssed me with friends that road the storms out with me. (and they NEVER complained about getting wet either!!!)

Now, back to January 2009......... again my question: New Year---Now What??
We sooooooo look forward to a new year.......we have all these BIG plans: get healthy, lose weight, spend more time with family, get more sleep, read the Bible more, take up a hobby, la da da da da........

It's January 19th???? What have you done???

Did you tell those you love, "I love you" & mean it??? God knows!!
How about yourself, do you love yourself?? God does!!
Did you thank God for your last breath?? How about the next one?? God is good!!
"Why do you not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." James 4:14-15.

I'm publicly sharing my new year's plan. My "life changing" overhaul. I'm taking the "first place 4 health" program. I'm committing a full year to this program. I NEED to re-program me!! I've got to put me 1st or I won't be worth anything to anybody I care about. God is great!!

God loves me and He loves you.....I may have to go through the motions of turning my calendar more often than once a month to experience the "WOW" it's time for new beginnings, but it's ok.............I can do that!!!!

Christmas All Packed Away?

Let me start by saying....welcome aboard! I have conveniently been "bogarting" my thoughts & feelings on everyone else's blogs. Thanks to all of you for allowing me to do that. But, through all of my kicking & screaming, fighting & arguing, questioning & doubting, "The Voice" telling me to step out of my comfort zone and start my own blog, has finally won out. Are you surprised? In the end, He ALWAYS wins! With that said, here we go, ready or not!

This particular blog topic has been in my head for sometime and it HAS to come out.....something about peace of mind!!!

We are now into the middle of January. I'm guessing we all have our Christmas packed away until (hopefully) after Thanksgiving. When we do this "packing away", are we also packing away Christ? This thought first occurred to me when I was packing away the small nativity I used with my precious Sunday School class. I first wrapped Joseph, then Mary. Finally came, as my kids would tell you, "our special gift from God". Again I ask, are we packing away Jesus along with the rest of our decorations?

Have you put God in a box? Do you put limitations on Him or yourself? "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him." Psalm 103:12-13....and you want to put Him in a box until next Christmas? Are you kidding me? He is EVERYWHERE! He's a 24/7 God. "I know that my Redeemer lives." Job 19:25. Do you live each day with excitement, anticipation, and exhilaration for our LORD? Are you giving Him your all? It's NEVER too late. Let's get moving! Show everyone everyday how much He means to you! You CAN'T put God in a box, but He can put you in one........

I find myself at times trying to "limit" God in my own life. How? I question His pushing & nudging & stretching me, and sometimes even His loving me. Why? I like, no, I LOVE my comfort zone. What if I fail? What if I look like a fool? What if it's not Him talking to me? Why me??? I can see lots of blog topics from here......we'll see. Faith!!!

Thank you for struggling through this first blog with me. I mentioned you may need a helmet & seat belt to ride along with me, you may also need GPS! I know what my head wants to say, but my fingers don't how to type it.......just know, I love God and I love you!!